As I'm about to start my 8th month and the final countdown begins, I'm feeling slightly less enamoured by this whole pregnancy thing. Don't get me wrong- I love feeling my baby girl move and I will certainly miss her when she's no longer with me all of the time. But I am starting to understand why, near the end of their pregnancies, so many women exclaim how they are so ready for their pregnancies to be over. I never thought I would feel that way, but alas. . . here are some things I will NOT miss about carrying around our little bundle of joy:
10. A sneeze is no longer just a sneeze. It now involves a mad dash to the bathroom and a quick prayer that you haven't horrifically embarrassed yourself in front of all of your coworkers (or the other customers at the grocery store, or the people trying to eat at the table next to you. . .)
9. One word: HEARTBURN. I had never experienced this before my pregnancy, and I now fully understand why people complain about it so much.
8. Having nothing to wear. Oh, I have maternity clothes. But now half of those pants don't even fit. It's a humbling experience when your MATERNITY jeans are too small.
7. Body parts sticking out of my abdomen. I always heard people say "You can even see an actual foot poking out, it's so cool!" However, "cool" is not the word I would have chosen. I think "painful" is a more apt description. I think this little gal thinks she's going to make her appearance through my belly button.
6. And that's another thing- my innie is now an outie (and has been since about month 5). It shows through my shirts! People have said to me "Oh look at your belly button, it's so cute!" Again, not the adjective I would have chosen.
5. Sciatica, bruised tailbone (see previous post about falling down stairs), muscle pain, OH MY! There isn't a massage long enough to cure all of my back ailments.
4. Bathroom (ahem) issues. . . too much, too little, bad timing, you name it. . . I just can't wait until everything works properly again!
3. Can't. Breathe. I get winded walking from the mailbox to the house, let alone trying to walk a crazy beagle for 30 minutes in 95 degree heat and 100% humidity. Thankfully, Ryan has taken pity and relieved me of my dog walking duties.
2. Medium rare steak, cold deli sandwiches, sushi, ice cold Pacifico. . .all the lovely things that are currently off limits. Forget yucky hospital food. When this baby girl is born, I want a cold turkey sub, Diet Dr. Pepper, and a side of spicy tuna rolls!
1. No sleep. What with the aching hips, copious bathroom breaks and constant tossing and turning, I'm averaging 2 hour stretches between interruptions. I think it's God's way of preparing new mothers because, unlike everything else on this list, this ailment will not go away along with the pregnancy. But at least then I'll be getting up for a much better and cuter reason than having to pee.
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